No Interest

I so despise the current markets where risk takers are being rewarded with puny returns relative to the HUGE risk they are taking, yet the common wisdom is that the risks are actually very small when central banks have your back.

I have never deleted as many macro market commentaries from my inbox, even the newspaper and my favourite blog sites cannot shake the malaise and contempt I feel for the markets and her participants.

I have been here before (a couple of times) and I know how quickly the inspiration and passion will return when I see/feel some sort of equilibrium return. I have no interest in changing the fabric of the tapestry I have designed as my capital world view.

I am a contrarian with a highly activated warrior archetype force-field. I write this feeling proud of this “affliction” but caution myself not to become too identified with such a polarizing force as it can be highly destabilizing.

Suffering has made me more connected

It dawned on me yesterday while talking things through with my guru that the suffering I have been going through the last few months has made me more connected to my creator.

No parent should see their child suffer, for me and my family the last 8 months has been a terribly painful experience that at times has felt like a never ending nightmare. To add to that I have encountered extreme volatility on the job front, with my income being sporadic to say the least.

However with all this negativity and dare I say it “suffering” I have consciously experienced and felt emotions on a very deep positive level; this is where Jung’s uniting of opposite’s plays an interesting role. By exploring my pain I have actually become more connected to its source and while the pain is still their I am able feel a deep level of acceptance at the same time.

When one is cruising through life and things are going swimmingly it is very hard to experience things on a deep level. Laughter, fun and frivolity are superficial experiences, there is nothing wrong with this, but it is very hard to grow in such an atmosphere.

On that philosophical note, I am more than happy for all the suffering to stop 🙂

Too Far Fetched

My wife and I recently approached Steven Spielberg and offered him the movie rights to our life story, he declined it because he said it sounds too far fetched.

The last 3.5 weeks have been off the charts crazy, I was approached by an international company to join them, flew to head office in Europe, took the job, worked in another city to the one I lived in for 2 weeks and then resigned last week. During this time my wife looked after our home with a seriously sick daughter. In short our lives were turned upside down.

One of the small benefits of the new job was the fact that I moved back home with my mom for 3 nights a week. My mother remarried after my father passed away, my poor stepfather probably had a heart attack when he heard his 44yr old step son was moving back home – LOL.

Hope to share many more stories of personal growth and insight from this way out experience.